Grace
The Leadership Golden Alumni group held a candidate forum in mid-October. Below are my closing remarks.
Facts don’t matter, alternative facts, party is more important than policy. These are all expressions that are common to see in our public discourse. And that is the nature of our world. Our non-partisan city council races are taking place in an environment in which the old saying, that “all politics is local”, has been flipped on its head, and it has all become, “all politics is national”. I think that these expressions ring true, perhaps not for everyone, but for some residents of Golden. So what, you might say? We have always had division, we have always had differences of opinion. Perhaps, but the discourse has changed. It is antagonistic. I’m no angel, I’ve written things, or said things that have been too strongly worded, too sharp, too antagonistic. But as I transition to a new role I am going to be part of the change that I seek.
First of all I will try to have empathy, and hope that all of us can display empathy. Let me express more clearly what I mean by that. I have read too much, and as a scientist at heart believe what the data say, and it is this, our evolutionary development hard wired into us the ability to make quick judgements. The need to decide “flight of fight”, “friend of foe”, leads us to treat our “in group” with patience and deference as opposed to vilifying and pushing away our “out group”. When we rationalize a decision, it is sometimes at the expense of the truth. If we make a judgement, about anything, perhaps as simple as whether we like, or don’t like a new building in our neighborhood, if facts about impacts are presented that support our view, we give them credence. If they do not align, we discount those facts. Why is empathy needed? Because we all do this, all the time, it is built in, and beyond our perceived control. I believe this firmly.
So we need empathy for others. If they disagree with us, and their world view does not match ours, consider this, our world view does not match theirs either. Trying to convince someone to your way of thinking is neigh impossible as a result. Why is it so frustrating to see people not get vaccinated against corona virus when all the data that you believe says it is the best defense against contracting Covid-19? It is frustrating because in your world view it makes complete sense and you would be hard pressed to be convinced otherwise. The same is true of the anti-vaccer. In their world view the vaccine is an affront, not tested, too quickly approved. There is no convincing them otherwise. Seriously, I believe this, there is no convincing them otherwise, nor you in your beliefs.
That is why empathy is needed all the way around. I want people to share with me their concerns about Golden, and changes they seek. They may not agree with me, or my approach, but I do hope they will have empathy for me, as I will offer empathy for them. My world view is mine, yours is yours. I will try to offer, as Bill Fisher said during the community celebration on our resilience, “grace”. We can offer grace to our neighbors and, at the same time, give up nothing. Allowing each other to have their own worldviews is a step toward civility. It costs nothing, and saves a lot of debate that makes no progress. When we try to convince people of something that butts up against their strongly held views, we need to do so with an understanding that to them, their beliefs are no less valid than our own.
I could easily say that I want the city to focus on foundational issues, such as keeping our citizens Safe, dry and warm, and then speak to how that relates to police and fire protection, but also housing, food, energy use and sustainability, even water use. But frankly, trying to convince you that those issues are more important than yours, doesn’t offer you grace or empathy, and that is what I want to offer. Finally, I will say this again, I’m no angel, I will fail at times, and I ask for your empathy or grace as well.